Samiya's Morning Robot:
Lifts me from sleep
Squeezes me like a sponge so all of my bathroom expulsion is handled.
Puts me on the scale, ensuring that the number is about 1 lb less than what it was the previous morning.
Washes me (it's likely best that I'm asleep until after this part, when I finally awaken refreshed and shiny clean).
Oils and lotions and perfumes and powders me.
Slides some badass clothes onto my body.
Does AMAZING things with my hair.
Gently pushes me into the kitchen which, having been cleaned by Samiya's Nighttime Robot the evening before, is aromatic with the smell of a healthy hearty breakfast made of exactly what I woke up hankering.
Presents me with a list of what I should do today, and promptly erases what I go NOPE! to.
Handles whatever else my moody morning ass needs.
Backs away having done yet another amazing job and rests until the morning comes through again.
So uh ... let's get on this inventors of the world yes? I'm sure it's just #asmallmatterofengineering.